reflections

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, a state of affairs that is somewhat uncommon for me I realize, but I guess in many ways these are not ordinary days.

Whenever you have something important to say, be it a story or an idea, it becomes such a trivial task to put it down in paper, seamlessly writing words until you either run out of paper or ideas. There is no need to force yourself to do it because words themselves pour out of your hands. This happens when you feel passionate about something, be it life, an image or even a memory. It is then that you have the ability to easily explain how you feel inside, to transmit the idea that occupies your mind at that moment and let someone else take it home; which is, incidentally, when words cease to be yours, when someone else adopts them and in turn uses them explain their very own set of problems and desires.

But getting there is not easy, and I mean that in the most practical sense of the word. Easy as in getting your thoughts in order, connecting A to B and then to C. Sure, it doesn’t always work like that, but the trick behind all this is that as long as you are completely aware of your existence, of the place you occupy in life, everything else becomes as easy as reading a book.

Or so they say.

Being daring in the face of adversity requires not only strength, but also complete awareness of your shortcomings and your weaknesses; this is crucial, only then can you expect to be able to face your fears and your demons, to be able to conquer them and leave the arena with a big, broad smile on your face knowing you did a good job at the end of a day’s work.

But looking back upon your life is a tricky thing. It’s tricky because you’re bound to see things subjectively. You’re bound to ask yourself a myriad of questions too: what went wrong, what went good, you’ll wonder how things would be different if you had taken the other road instead. Sometimes however, if you try hard enough, you can manage to see the whole picture, so to speak, and see things objectively and appraise your life, or at least a portion of it, with all its hits and misses.

It is not without trepidation that I write these words however, I am well aware of how immersed I am in my own feelings and emotions, in my shortcomings and my doubts. I feel however as if time itself had given me the opportunity right now to look back and reflect, if only for a moment, on all the things I’ve been through these past few years. And believe me, since I know just how risky and uncertain my relationship with time is, I’m not about to decline such an offer. I want to carve these words inside my heart before I let them go for good so that they will always be there should I need them.

Frank 10:40