tonight…

I wrote this some time ago, but lately I’ve been thinking about it more and more. I can’t seem to get Y out of my mind. No matter how hard I try, her eyes capture me every time.

‘Tonight’

2001-04-16 01:40

I want to write something extraordinary tonight. I want to rip open the canvas of this world and recreate it all with words and dreams that only a man of my stature can feel and understand. I want to feel time in the presence of my fears, I want it to render me lifeless and useless when the day breaks, just so that I can be endless in my heart and in my eyes, fading fast and falling through the mist which often covers my nightly dreams whenever I’m afraid to try.

I want to howl into this wind with all my heart, let the air in my lungs fill the space which covers the distance that exists between my callow, inexperienced hands, and the fading image of the man I almost was. I want to fall to the ground exhausted at the end of the day, knowing I have spent my last breath in the search of a truth which does not seem to know how much I need it.

I want to know that tonight I am important, that I matter to someone just because I am alive and because I feel so much so deeply. Thinking that perhaps, the effect of season’s past has awaken in me the desire to fly through the night with my arms stretched open, laughing in disguise as I feel life itself slowly, but steadily, coming back to me. Taking strides and learning from my mistakes as I ready myself to start once more.

If I could tell the world one thing tonight it would be that I’m ok, that I’ll never give up, and that I’ll never stop dreaming with these visionary eyes of mine.

Frank 10:10